Overcome Negative Feelings
Many have a silent fight with low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety and fear. Just to name a few, most don’t realize that they can overcome these feelings and live happier lives.
Negative Feelings, Can You Overcome Them?
â€œ Of Course Not! Negative emotions a are too powerful. I have no choice but to endure them until they pass.â€
That is how many people respond to the idea of overcoming emotions such as fear, frustration, anger, anxiety, guilt, self-pity and depression. But those emotions can be overcome. Rather than give in to them whenever they come up, you can learn to loosen their hold on you.
Of course there is a significant difference between the normal negative emotions that are experienced by everyone and severe depression. The latter may require a doctors attention. The former do not, and these are the emotions we can learn to cope with.
Actually, not all negative emotions are harmful. For example, when you make a serious mistake, you may express remorse in proportion to the mistake. If this moves you to correct it and avoid repeating it in the future, then the emotion has had a positive long-term effect. Or the normal concern you may have about a problem may move you to tackle it with vigor and seek a reasonable solution. That too is a healthy response.
However, what if after you have done all you could to correct a mistake, your feelings of guilt or worthlessness still persist, perhaps even for a long time. Or what if after you resolve a problem to the extent possible, your feelings of worry remain and even intensify? Then your emotional responses may make you miserable. How, then, ca you overcome those emotional responses? The key may be found in controlling our thinking.
Many who work in the field of mental health maintain that our feelings are caused by our thoughts.. For example, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer points out: â€œYou cannot have a feeling (emotion) without first having experienced a thought.
The first step toward controlling negative emotions is: Identify the negative thoughts.
Second: Work on correcting the negative thoughts. If, for instance, you were thinking, â€˜I never do anything right,â€™ substitute this with, â€˜Iâ€™m just like everyone else; I do many things right, but I make my share of mistakes too.â€™
Do not expect to feel better immediately after making this correction (although you may), and do not get stuck mentally debating the matter. Just make the affirmation and move on to the next step.
The third step is to work at dismissing the negative thought from your mind. Try to push it out as forcefully and confidently as you would the thought of committing a serious crime. (negative thoughts are as serious as a crime) While you may be able to do this with strong mental effort of great help is doing so is the fourth step: Get absorbed in something else, something that builds you up, makes you feel good.
This is important because your negative thoughts will repeatedly try to force their way back into your mind. But you have this advantage: You can onl y concentrate fully on one thing at a time. You can prove this to yourself by trying to concentrate totally on two subjects at the same time. If your mind is already fully occupied with something else, it will be difficult for your negative thoughts to return. The way a negative thoughts can be replaced by positive ones is just as the same as changing the channel on a Television, you donâ€™t like the show on one channel you change to another channel.
Yes, negative thoughts are often too strong to be simply dismissed. They must be forced out by replacement. Change to another channel. One that is positive and encouraging and get absorbed in it.
The above four steps are easily explained but how hard they can be to follow! There fore, do not be surprised if overcoming negative thoughts and emotions is difficult for you at first. Expect it to be difficult, but know that in time it will get easier.
Take for example: I was raised in an abusive atmosphere, running away from home at the age of five, I grew up not loving myself at all, never good enough, feeling unworthy of any kind of goodness and guilty all of the time even though I had done nothing.
I have been working ok myself for years, doing positive affirmations, and I have become a different person, happier, healthier, and more successful. One book that helped me a lot was a book called The Self-Talk Solution by Shad Helmstetter. Yet you may wonderâ€¦
Why is it so hard? Are bad habits, such as overeating or smoking, easily broken? By no means! They are overcome only by conscious, determined effort over a period of time. For many, negative thinking is a habit, and like other bad habits, it is a hard one to break. If negative thinking is a habit with you, overcoming it will likely take the same determination that it takes a person who goes on a dirt or one who decides to quit smoking.
The point is donâ€™t give up and decide to remain depressed because it is easier to do so.
Stick with your fight against negative thinking, even if it means many months of trial and error and perhaps relapse. Stay with it as if you were training for and athletic contest. Look to long-term results rather than immediate satisfaction.
Donâ€™t give up