Daddy’s girl

Children of today from children of yesterday

I was daddy’s little girl. As daddy’s little girl I would have separation anxiety being away from my father. There was an innocent during the 1972 flood and our home was in the middle of this flood so my father had to find family or friends who would keep the younger sibling and I until the home was cleaned up and safe from any mold substance that could make my younger sister and I coming down ill. 

A friend of the family offer to open her home to the younger sibling and I. During this stay at the family friends home I came down ill so bad within a week staying at the family friends home. Ms. Michele came concern to where she did not know what to do so she made a call to my father to explained to him what was going on. It turned out that my father had to make the two hour drive to pick me up. When Ms. Michele told me that my father was coming to pick me up I walked outside to the porch and sit there on the step waiting upon his arrival. When I saw his face all of a sudden I was feeling better. Daddy made an appointment to the doctor’s to make sure I was okay and it turned out the doctor told my daddy I had separation anxiety. 

Being raised in the Mennonite family I had more to be thankful for. Maybe we did not have computers or television in our home or anything that would interfere having family time together. I believe that is the big problem with children of today. Majority of percentage in most homes, children has hand held computer games, sit in front of a television for a good part of the day. Television becomes the babysitter. Children has computers and other new technology gimmicks. Not saying there is nothing wrong with having or using computers or having a television for these items can be very useful in helping children with homework and school and socialization. Parents ought to set boundaries and rules in how long they can use the computers or play their handheld games.

Children of today have no respect, in some cases some children don’t know the word No or the meaning of manners. Thank you, welcome, Please, and others. If I would ever speak to my parents like children speak to their parents today, I would get the board of education and a good slap across my face. Disciplining your children out of love is totally different discipline your children out of angry or bullying them. Husband and I never spanked our children for we used positive approach of discipline. Time out, taking away their privileges, example: not allowing them to go to friends, or taking away their television or music player. Before we given the disciple we sit them and explain why we were disciplining them. With bad choices comes with consequences and with good choices comes with rewards. Our children were great kids when they were younger and even in their teens. It is when they became Adults and dating stage when we noticed the changes of behavior. They became distance, ignorant, making bad choices, picked up smoking and drinking and had sex before marriage. We had long discussions about sex and taken even precaution by taking them to doctors and even allow them to sit in school sex classes. Both girls were involved in church and participated in a program, “True Love Waits” by their choice and we bought the wedding bands. They have made a commitment to God and that was between them and God I told my children. They broke that commitment. 

Daughter became a teenage mother at the age of sixteen, just a baby herself. My husband and I ended up having to raise her daughter for ten years of her life. Daughter was a partier, One who likes hanging out at parties with alcohol involved. We had many heated discussions about her behavior and being a good role model for her daughter. She came back and said that her daughter was a mistake, her daughter was an accident and her actions shown that towards caring of her daughter. So she hates us today because we file custody for her daughter and won. It wasn’t until our granddaughter became mature age that we allow her decide if she wanted her mother to be part of her life. We never would say anything negative about her mother. When and if she asked us questions about her mother, questions like, Why, we just simple told her the truth. Mother was young when she had her and she loves her but she was a child herself and needed some growing up to do yet. Eventually, granddaughter went to live with her mother after granddaughter turned sixteen years old and by this time her mother now is thirty five and she started taking responsibility and grew up a lot. stopped partying, stopped drinking and other things she was addicted to. 

It is coming more and more common these days and frequent more than times back in our youth. Sure grandparents had to rise their grandchildren too in some cases but it is more today than yesterday.  where the grandparents are ones who has to step in raising their grandchildren. Grandparents putting their lives on hold because of the love of their grandchildren and only for their well being to offer them a life their parents could not or would not give them. I believe many parents had probably said one time or another in their lives that their children will be the death of them. Children are more advance in learning than of our grandparents and even when we were parents raising our own. I will always love my children unconditionally no matter what choices they make to live their lives but I refuse to sit back and have any of my Adult children disrespect me, degrade me or manipulate me by playing their guilt trip games. I was a perfect child either but one thing I have learned that my parents were older and wiser and more knowledgeable than me because they have been through the teenage growing pains. Even though at times I felt my father was wrong and was not perfect either I would not disrespect my father or raise the tone of my voice to him or my mother or grandparents because this is how I was raised. More and more children of today are growing more mature at a faster rate and more and more juvenile prisons are filled with children who broke the law. Some are as young as ten years of age. Get the picture. Parents love their children regardless, sometimes parents have to use “Tough Love” In some situations parents can’t reach their children because children have selective hearing or the friends who they associated with. Parents use sternness along with faith and with “Tough Love” Believe me being a parent myself, it hurts the parent more than it their child.  Parents ought to give a time limit how much their children can spend on the computer, playing computer games or with their hand-held games and sitting on their behinds watching television. Hour is mostly given to most children unless they use the computer for school now that is different. Parents ought to set limits and boundaries. 


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