missing someone close

I CAN REMEMBER

Its funny, I can remember her eyes, nose, and mouth, even the black of her hair that she kept up in a bun on top of her head.
I can remember the way her eyebrows would go up when I would tell a fib, or how she’d crinkle up her nose at a funny smell, or the way she’d smile that silly crooked smile. She never laughed, well not much, she was always a little on the sad side.
But I can remember how she’d play barbies, or do puzzles, and watch cartoons with me on rainy days. I can remember going bike riding with her to the park where we would get the bucket and tie it to a rope. We’d let the bucket down into the stream and get some fresh, sweet tasting water.
I can remember how she’d wake me up in the middle of the night, wrap me in a blanket and rush me to the car just so we could hear how the raindrops sounded on the roof of the car. Or waking me up and driving all night just to watch the sunrise over the beach.
I can remember her wedding day, when we both wore the same style dress and she let me taste champagne for the first time.
I can remember how she would burn water! She couldn’t cook or bake cookies like other women could, so she would have my grandmother bring food to us.
I can remember the night she got so sick that my step father had me call the neighbor down the road to take us to the hospital. I can remember how excited I was thinking that I was going to have a baby brother or sister only to have the doctor come out all covered in blood telling me she wanted to see me.
I remember crying as I held her close listening to her apologize for leaving me alone and dying in my arms. Many told me that day that the pain of loss goes away with time.
But I have to say that after 42 years I still miss you Momma!


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