How Not to Make Mistakes When Trying to Discipline Your Child
Being a parent is challenging in lots of ways and one of those ways has to do with discipline. The manner in which you approach this is going to depend quite a bit upon how you were brought up.
It’s still a good idea to think about your own upbringing and figure out how much of that you want to repeat for your own kids. We have identified some of the most common mistakes that parents made while disciplining and how you can avoid making them yourself.
There is a big difference between discipline and disrespect or humiliation. Making children feel ashamed is more likely to harm their self esteem than to get them to behave better in the future. For one thing, you should not yell at or insult your kids, especially when you are out in public.
It is also dangerous to saddle your child with the label of being inconsiderate, dumb or lazy. It doesn’t help your child change, it just makes him feel labeled or lacking. If your son or daughter does something that you do not like, you should explain what is wrong with that specific behavior or action. What you want to do is encourage better behavior, not make your child feel inferior or ashamed.
Anytime discipline comes in the picture, you need to be on the same page as everyone else. Perhaps you have had your children ask you for something, and then your spouse for the same thing later on if you said no. If you don’t let your child eat ice cream before dinner, but the other parent does allow it, this teaches the child the wrong lesson. In situations like this, children figure out that they don’t have to follow the rules as long as they know which parent to appeal to. Really, parents need to work together, being consistent across the board. Perhaps someone else watches your child occasionally. This person should know exactly what you expect. Don’t let your children play one adult against the other. This is a very bad habit.
Sometimes parents get a little carried away with bribes to encourage their kids. The use of this method will actually leave your child thinking that they will be paid to behave. It’s not as if you shouldn’t use this enticement; you just need to be careful of when and how often you do. Of course you will want to give your children special things for special occasions, but if you find yourself needing to do this constantly you need to evaluate the situation. Your children need to know that good behavior will be rewarded with appreciation and not a monetary or physical reward. When you use bribery too frequently; you child will figure that you need to offer them something every time you ask something of them.
It’s difficult to discipline kids and you are going to make some mistakes. There are times when you are going to do things with the best of intentions and you will still be making a mistake. All that you can really do here is learn the lesson and then change the approach you take the next time. It is important to work consistently at being a good parent because you simply have no way of predicting what will be happening from day to day.