Parents needs to set standards with Adult Children
When does parents know to set limitations with their Adult children? when they are repeating the same pattern of destructive behavior.
As parents our first instinct we always want to keep our children safe no matter what. Sometimes parents may make matters worse if they are so involved in their Adult children lives. As parents we need to trust our Adult children with life tools we have taught them that they will make right choices and if they don’t we can’t keep billing them out when they continue to repeat the same pattern. As a parent myself, I feel they will not learn from their mistakes nor grow from their mistakes to not to repeat the same misbehavior and all we are doing is enabling them to not to trust their own judgment. I made mistakes as being a parent. I had to get off of the emotional roller coaster and saying No to my Adult child and stepping away out of the situation that she got herself into and just trust in God she would do the right thing. It is hard decision for parents to make to not to be so involved in their personal life and to set standards. Allowing my daughter to move back every time she would get evicted from her home because she rather be at partying than paying her rent or bills I felt I enabled her to continue her behavior. One day, she wanted to move back home and as hard it was for me to say No, I knew I I had too. She needed to grow up and start taking responsibility of her own actions to make right choices to better her life.
She went through a lot of bad patches and it has taken her quite few years being evicted from homes, having her license suspended because her drinking and driving, and losing everything and having to start all over again. It was painful to see her go through that. Eventually, she did come to a point in her life that she needed to make some positive changes for mommy and daddy wasn’t gone to be there as her leaning post anymore to continue to bill out of her troubles. She done a whole eighty turn around and now doing well for herself. She is now a mother of three children and married to a man who she met online on a dating website. Sometimes parents needs to take a few steps back and allowing their adult children to fall and make mistakes and all we can do is pray they will learn from their mistakes. Mother-in-law, I respect their marriage life and do not put myself in the middle of their marriage squabbles. They need to work together as a team and worked it out.
Parents we raised our children with life tools and when they mature age to move out on their own, we have to place them in God’s hands and trust that our children will remember what we parents have taught them growing up. Don’t want to be a nagging mother-in-law nor a mother who takes their daughter or son side because a marriage takes two so best advice to give son or daughter to tell them to communicate with their partner and try to work it out and work together as a team. If they can’t work it out to where their marriage ends up on a road to nowhere than they have to decide if their marriage is worth working on.