Discipline Your Child With Love
So many get frustrated with their children, because the child does not listen to them, and they wonder why? I have heard many parents ask this question. I love children and they always seem to love me, and they listen to me! I don’t have to raise my voice or my hand.
Discipline with Action
Our Actions show who we are and what we believe. To get our children to obey we have to walk our talk. It mean nothing to them if we give them a bunch of rules and regulations and we ourselves are not living up to our own expectations.
Children Need To Know Why they Are Being Disciplined
Children learn mostly by example, so if we tell them to do things that we ourselves are not doing, how can we expect them to take us seriously? So if our children see us for instance, obeying things like stopping at a stop sign, being courteous to the check out clerk, being on time for work on a regular basis. They will learn to have respect in these areas and more.
It’ also important to let our children know that as adults we do and will make mistakes, and we may make the same mistake again, but we are doing our best to overcome it. Let them see us as the imperfect human being that we are, not making excuses but trying our best to be ourselves at our best. We are letting them know that yes we are imperfect, but we want to do what is right.
Teaching our children to be obedient is easy when they know that they are loved, that we have their best interest at heart, when we take time to communicate with them on a daily basis, like washing the dishes, watering the lawn, eating together, cooking a meal together, any kind of activity that draws them and you together so you are talking to each other heart to heart and the child knows you are hearing them without judging them (sometimes they say things we don’t really want to hear) this casual time spent together builds a relationship of love, warmth and trust. This in turn causes a child to want to obey their parent because they want to make them happy, which in turn makes the child happy.
Discipline your child based on right principles, things like honesty, honor, respect, courtesy, love, kindness. These are principles that apply to each and everyone of us. A child can understand these principles.
When disciplining your child, please don’t demand that they do what you say, it is demeaning to the child it makes them feel worthless, and they will obey you out of fear, not love. If you are angered by something they have done, calm down before you decide what kind of punishment they are going to get, screaming, cursing and hitting again while they may obey it is only because you have the upper hand. (“When my daughter was six years old she wanted to go swimming, I told her no and when into my bedroom, when I came out to see what she was doing, because it was too quiet. My daughter had taken a knife and carved the wood off of some very expensive furniture which had just been bought. Well I saw red and as I was looking at her I just calmly said, “I think you need to go to your room.” She went to her room and did not come out of her room until I called her.”) I did not have to say much, with tears in her eyes she said she was sorry and gave me a hug. She never did anything like that again. (like that) .
Discipline out of love, always with their best interest in mind, explain to them why they are being disciplined and ask them if they understand the reason themselves. Help them to see how it benefits them and you. Commend them when they are doing things right, don’t just look for what they do wrong, actually the focus should be more on what they are doing well.
Start from infancy, that way it’s easier to communicate with them when they get older and it becomes a pattern .
Be consistent, don’t let them get away with doing something wrong, just because you don’t feel like dealing with it, and then the next time they do it and you are angry you decide to discipline them, this not fair to the child and it sends them the signal that you really don’t care about them.
Remember children learn from our example, so always make sure that you are practicing what you preach. Work on yourself also, when they see this they will be able to relate to you more and appreciate the patience and love that you show to them.