Marriage is what you put into it

He asked your hand in marriage: Now what?

Maybe when your were in younger year’s you dream of this day. Had plans of what your wedding day was going to be, the theme, wedding cake, wedding dress, and even chose the flowers and your bridesmaids, and maid of honor. It something you look forward too, meeting that right partner to spend the rest of your life with. It had everything planned out for your special day all in your mind. Finally, that day came you started dating, and possibly you, you soul mate was right there in front of your face. Meaning that your partner lived in your neighborhood, was your high school sweet heart or a close friend that you grew up with. Marriage is when two people unite as one and comes together and works together as a team. Marriage is getting to know each other likes, dislikes, character, so on. 
 
I met my husband when I was just ten year’s old, he was twelve and his family and him just moved in our neighborhood. I had no interest in boys at this early age for my thoughts of what I thought about boys, they were show-offs, yucky, in-mature and they acting in mature too. I first met his sister and we became friends. She come over and hang out and we skate out in front of where I lived at that presence time. My parents would help his family when they were in need of help with groceries or they come over once or twice to borrow money or would ask my father if her could run his mother to the grocery store or on other errands. At first when I met Krissy’s brother, my first expression of him he was down right ugly and his parents were very weird and strange and odd in many ways. I was a kid, and I was acting like a typical and ordinary kid. I attended private schools where Krissy and her bother attended the public schools. Than one summer Krissy was not coming over anymore. I thought she may have went to families for the summer vacation or thought family went away for the summer vacation but days passed by than a week I started to wonder so my other friend Lyssa and I decided to walk over to where they lived. When we arrived to their home we noticed that the home they were renting at the time was empty and no curtains were hanged up at the window. Being curious and all, we knocked on their neighbor’s door to ask what happen to the family that lived next store to them. “Surprised, and wondering why would Krissy didn’t stop by to say good-bye or tell us that they were moving. So I didn’t hear from Krissy or her brother for some year’s after they moved away. I than would be 15 1/2 year’s of age and her brother would be 18 year’s of age by now.
 
One day, my sister asked, if I would like to walk downtown with her to go shopping with her. Had nothing else plan that day so I said “Sure, Why Not? As we were heading downtown to go shopping, my sister bumped into a long time friend of hers: Steven and not recognizing Steven’s friend who was with him-it was my future husband. He stand there as my sister and Steven were in a long conversation and I walked over to sit down on the steps to wait until my sister was finished chatting with her friend Steven. Mike looks changed, he was grown up now and enlisted in the United States Army and happen to be on leave at this time he was walking with his friend and my sister and I was on our way walking in town. Mike stared at me thinking, he knew me from somewhere and I knew of him but we both grew up and didn’t think of each other since his family moved away until this day. I was dressed in a cape dress wearing a veil on my head, a covering because I was a Mennonite girl. Because of my faith I didn’t have no interest in Mike but I did ask him, Whatever happen to your sister Krissy? What has she done with her life? Does she still live at home? He responded back, answering the questions I asked. Well Krissy went and got herself locked up, what do you ever mean? I asked. She got pregnant. “Oh my! Krissy was only sixteen. Very young for her to have a baby in that time of age. Yeah, Mike replied. I agree. My sister asked, Mike, Do you remember my sister Beth? Vaguely he replied. “wow, Beth really grew up. Well of course I did, I replied to Mike’s response. What do you expect? that I was still going to be that little ten year old little girl that you met six year’s ago. No, Mike said. 
Well my sister finally was finished with her conversation with her friend Steven and it was getting late so we must go, I said to my sister. It was nice seeing you again Mike, Good Luck and Best wishes to your Army Career, thanks Mike responded. Like-wise right back at ya. What I recall that Mike was on a two weeks furlow. Just before he had to fly out to go back to where he was station, he stopped by to visit me. We sit out in front of my home and we chatted about everything and caught up what was going on in each other life since we last seen each other. When I was ten year’s he never spoke to me as much as he did now I was fifteen year’s of age. 
 
When he flew back where he was station at, which was in Germany, he call me once a month and when he got a chance to come home, he visit and we started dating. I just turned sixteen year’s old, we were still dating. On my seventh birthday, he surprised me by stopping by my home to visit and on this day of June 11th, he bend down on his knees and asked for my hand in marriage, He was so handsome in his Army uniform. I didn’t quite give him an answer at that time. He only had a week before he had to go back, before he got into the airplane to return where the Army stationed him I said yes, at the airport. The next time he got a leave, we would marry. We finally tied the knot and chose the date my parents got married. June 11th, 1974. Today, we be married for over 40 year’s. Now, our marriage had some hard rocks with him being away a lot and we had our ups and down and heated arguments but our love for each other is what got us through those hard times. Just because you get older, your marriage grows with you too, changes in marriage is going to happen, health problems, financial problems, many other little things sneaks up. Remember that a marriage is team work and together working together as a team will make your marriage stronger. Date night to keep that spark in your marriage, communication, honesty, dealing with the changes directly together. My husband who I met 40 year’s ago, we go everywhere together, we even at one time worked at the same job. There are going to be days when you have to give each other space, respect each other space and each other in every corner, in every area of your marriage. When one tastes salt, the other tastes vinegar. Our marriage isn’t perfect today, it still has its up and downs and turn abouts, but when your marriage is on the rocks, find that spark when the first day your partner laid eyes on you and the way you felt inside your heart when you laid eyes on your partner. If you search your heart and really look deep and believe in your marriage-the person will fight for it. It is waste to throw year’s of marriage away on what can be fixed and repaired through love, compassion, trust, understanding and communication and let’s not forgetting to not to play the blame game and forgiving one another, support one another, one falls, be the one who picks up the pieces-vice-versa. Divorce is only the easy way out to solve the problems you may think, but my opinion, divorce is a cop out not facing the problem and working together. In any marriage, God should be the head of the marriage to guide you both, and pray, love, forgiving makes a marriage stronger and facing tests together by working them out together. Quality time. Let not money, busy life keep you away from spending that quality time together. Looks may change but your heart don’t need to change. In marriage vows, it is stated before the eyes of God, through thick and thin, sickness and health to death do you both apart. I am married to my childhood life time friend and thank God for my husband every day for a new day spending with my husband. He is the love of my life. God provides our every need and the strength to continue to love each other more and more and more in our special way. 
Don’t think marriages can be brought together from Heaven, I believe God brought us together to be husband and wife. June 11th, is coming up here in a few months, and it will be our 41 Anniversary.  


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